I don't really have anything to say, besides the fact that today was a bad day. I am tired of trying. I am tired of working for goals that will never come true. I am tired of things never, and I mean NEVER going my way. I am tired of always being disappointed.
I want to run away a be someone else.
I want out
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Pass the Pumpkin Pie Please!!!
Today is a great day... A day all about thanks, and I have a lot to be thankful for. I would like to list just a few.
First and foremost, my Family. My rock, the ones who keep me grounded. Yes, I do frequently get frustrated with their nagging, but I know it is because they love me and they are often right when trying to help me.
Next, are my friends. I like to think of them as my extended family. I love each and everyone of them and thank the Lord everyday that I have such wonderful people to bless my life.
I am grateful that I have the opportunity to receive an education, even though I don't always take advantage of it by studying as much as I should.
Talents... I love the talents I have been given. The ability to move and express myself through dance and song just makes life that much more worth living.
I am even grateful for the "not so big and scary" blizzard that made campus close at three, giving me one more weekend to study for my test that I was going to take on Tuesday.
So thanks again; my family, my friends, my dance coaches. To all of you have touch my life in one way or another. Whether you were my shoulder to cry on, or the one that made me cry. Whether you build me up or break me down. I have been given a lot and have learned a lot over the past few years.
Now.... it is time to eat some pie
Ciou!
First and foremost, my Family. My rock, the ones who keep me grounded. Yes, I do frequently get frustrated with their nagging, but I know it is because they love me and they are often right when trying to help me.
Next, are my friends. I like to think of them as my extended family. I love each and everyone of them and thank the Lord everyday that I have such wonderful people to bless my life.
I am grateful that I have the opportunity to receive an education, even though I don't always take advantage of it by studying as much as I should.
Talents... I love the talents I have been given. The ability to move and express myself through dance and song just makes life that much more worth living.
I am even grateful for the "not so big and scary" blizzard that made campus close at three, giving me one more weekend to study for my test that I was going to take on Tuesday.
So thanks again; my family, my friends, my dance coaches. To all of you have touch my life in one way or another. Whether you were my shoulder to cry on, or the one that made me cry. Whether you build me up or break me down. I have been given a lot and have learned a lot over the past few years.
Now.... it is time to eat some pie
Ciou!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Oh the weather outside is frightful...
I can not believe that it snowed today. Granted it only lasted about 10 minutes, but still, snow?! I have lived in Utah my whole life, you would think that I like snow right? Wrong! People always ask if I ski or snowboard in the winter months. Sadly I do not. I would love to learn, but lets face the facts... I dance instead.
As a dancer, learning to ski or snowboard... not really high on my priority list, not to mention how extremely stupid I would be. People can say as much they want that certain things are not dangerous if you know what you are doing and you don't do anything crazy... I don't believe them. I am a mover, getting hurt and spending weeks or maybe even months not doing the thing I love, seems extremely ungrateful for the gift I have been given, not to mention it would drive me insane. So I play it safe...always. Not just in situations where physical danger is involved, but any type of danger.
Wow that was a very strange segway
"Mother Hen", someone once called me this. Did it offend me? Kind of, not too much, only a little. Why? I am not exactly sure. I think maybe because it insinuated that I don't know how to have fun, or that I like to keep other people from having fun or that I like to have control... over situations or people. I don't know? I get in a protective mood when I see these potentially dangerous situations. I blame my parents... I will forever be overly cautious because of them. It is how I was raised, but when I see my friends or family making decisions that in the future could eventually hurt them, I want to step in an save them from the fall. To that some may reply that falling is one of the ways of learning. Maybe it is... in some situations.
Maybe I just feel guilty about not stepping into situations in the past. I feel like I have to make up for them now... or maybe I see a pattern forming that I think I might be able to stop. Yet how do you help someone who won't listen. It is so frustrating.
To whom ever reads this entry, I am sorry. I have no idea why this all came out today, and to be honest I really didn't have anyone in mind when the words flowed from my fingers. I guess today was just a day of reflection for me. Point is, there are things I wish I would have done differently when I look back on my life, friends I wish I would have confronted before things went south. I don't know everything... in fact, when it comes to life and life experiences many people know more them me, but there is something inside of me that will always be protective of those I love... no matter what.
As a dancer, learning to ski or snowboard... not really high on my priority list, not to mention how extremely stupid I would be. People can say as much they want that certain things are not dangerous if you know what you are doing and you don't do anything crazy... I don't believe them. I am a mover, getting hurt and spending weeks or maybe even months not doing the thing I love, seems extremely ungrateful for the gift I have been given, not to mention it would drive me insane. So I play it safe...always. Not just in situations where physical danger is involved, but any type of danger.
Wow that was a very strange segway
"Mother Hen", someone once called me this. Did it offend me? Kind of, not too much, only a little. Why? I am not exactly sure. I think maybe because it insinuated that I don't know how to have fun, or that I like to keep other people from having fun or that I like to have control... over situations or people. I don't know? I get in a protective mood when I see these potentially dangerous situations. I blame my parents... I will forever be overly cautious because of them. It is how I was raised, but when I see my friends or family making decisions that in the future could eventually hurt them, I want to step in an save them from the fall. To that some may reply that falling is one of the ways of learning. Maybe it is... in some situations.
Maybe I just feel guilty about not stepping into situations in the past. I feel like I have to make up for them now... or maybe I see a pattern forming that I think I might be able to stop. Yet how do you help someone who won't listen. It is so frustrating.
To whom ever reads this entry, I am sorry. I have no idea why this all came out today, and to be honest I really didn't have anyone in mind when the words flowed from my fingers. I guess today was just a day of reflection for me. Point is, there are things I wish I would have done differently when I look back on my life, friends I wish I would have confronted before things went south. I don't know everything... in fact, when it comes to life and life experiences many people know more them me, but there is something inside of me that will always be protective of those I love... no matter what.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Dance Sport :)
Actually, not so excited about it. Someone please put me out of my misery so that I don't have to go through with this!!!
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