Don't Sneeze.

Yesterday was the longest day of my life, starting at 7 and ending at 1 in the morning. In between that time I had dance practice, Work, got into a car accident (luckily the only ones hurt were the cars), waited an hour and a half for the police to show, went to Salt Lake City to see Mary Poppins at the Capitol Theater. I also was able to go back stage and see how they did everything.

Needless to say, there are sometimes when i wish i could just curl up in a ball and fade away.

Dear Friend,

I am sorry I made you angry with the words I said.
Only meant to help, they ended up hurting instead.

You didn't quite take it, how I hoped you would.
And I guess I didn't handle it quite the way I should.

Your words were very harsh, the blow was deep and mean
And the impact of the words hurt more than could be seen.

I wanted to forgive you, but the words rang in my ears,
It was a hit too close to home, on one of my biggest fears.

I have always tried to help you because you're my closest friend
Yet my advice was met with malice and so now my help will end.

I will still be there to listen and hear of your daily pains,
but I will not offer any advice. No more, and never again.

I hope this doesn't seem too harsh or like I do not care.
Our friendship will go better if my feelings I do not share.

So my thoughts I will keep to myself, we're better off that way,
I guess I should start this promise now, that's all I have to say.

I Choose

I choose to be me.
I choose to be happy, I choose to be sad.
I choose to forgive, I choose to forget.
I choose to remember, I choose to hold on.
I choose to have the last word, I choose to drop the issue.
I choose to turn the other cheek, I choose to throw the first punch.
I choose to be the dancer, I choose to be the singer.
I choose to be the center of attention,
I choose to stand in the shadows.
I choose to have an opinion, I choose to not care.
I choose to forget the fact that I choose.

So many times I think we forget that we are the deciders of our own actions. We may be influenced by so many things, yet those things do not make our decisions for us. Yes, they may affect it in a way, but no decision in out of our control. Outcomes of those decision and choices can't be determined by us. So I guess this is my new mid-year goal.

I choose to be happy; I choose to try; I choose to live

To Dream...

Today I went up to Salt Lake to watch my brother graduate from Boys State. I went up thinking that it was going to be a boring program that I would have to suffer through (but I obviously I was there to support by brother). For the most part the program was pretty dull. A bunch of old guys talked about the friends the boys had made and how great they were. How ever there was one talk that really got my attention. The previous year's boys had elected a boy with cerebral palsy (I think that is how you spell it) to be their Governor, giving him the opportunity to come back had lead this years boys. He started his talk by singing "The Impossible Dream" from the musical Man of La Mancha. It must have took a lot of confidence and courage on his part to stand up in front of all those people and give a speech that was hard for most to understand. He talked with so much convictions. He believed in his words so much and I could see how much they meant to him. I was so touch by the way the boys acted toward him. Often times I see high school boys acting immature and sometimes cruel towards those that are different than they are. Yet the light in his eyes and personality reflected upon these boys and the audience members. 
I guess what I am getting at is the fact that this boy who probably battled invisible giants his whole life with this physical impediment and came out victorious in many peoples eyes. Many of us don't have to tilt at such windmills. I want to inspire people and bring out an inner light as this boy did.

To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

Sweet Surprises

You know how have gotten flowers many times in my life, for many different reasons. There is just something about getting some anonymously that just made my day.

I just wish I knew who they were from so that I could thank them because they were gorgeous.

To my anonymous Valentine:
Thank you for making one of the most seemingly lonely days, a little more special for me.